Friday 31 August 2018

SINFUL FANTASIES

I have made love to you a million times in my secret fantasies,
I have explored your nookes and curves,
your straights and bends, your shallows and depths.
I have drunk intensely from your sweet fountains
and got myself more intoxicated.
I have fantasised about your beautiful mounds,
the fine hills on your chest, the sharp peaks.
I have mouthed to myself a gazillion
beautiful compliments,
told you countless sweet nothings in my fantasies.

I have felt things in places, places within
- unmentionable.
I have done things with you in my fantasies,
crazy things, "sinful" things.
I have touched places, parts, and other things.
I have given you uncountable kisses
in my wild dreams and fantasies
and still got lost in the sweetness of your lips.
I have imagined,
I have longed to taste the nectar in your tongue,
Something tells me you drip of pure sweet honey,
Would you mind if I find out?

I have done countless styles, existing and invented,
switched lanes and positions uncountable times
in these fantastic fantasies.
I have shifted gears, altered rythms, changed speeds,
driven fast, slowed down, stopped abruptly,
applied brakes, sometimes emergency ones
in these unceasing fantasies.

I have yearned, I have longed, I have wanted,
I have burned with desire, I have been consumed,
and still, I can't seem to get you of my mind,
all these crazy things, hot dreams, wet dreams,
and daytime fantasies, night-time dreams
and full time longings.

Am I crazy?
Or what is this that is happening to me?
I don't know, maybe you tell me.
Am I crazy?

#TheSmittenPoet
#Camistare2018
#TheScreamingThoughtsOfASilentPen

Thursday 30 August 2018

COULD YOU ALLOW ME PLEASE?

I have seen your pain,
I have known the battles you have fought,
I have seen your fresh wounds,
I have seen your healed permanent scars.
Some say they are ugly but in them,
I see marks won with grace and elegance.
I dare say,
"champions are never embarrassed of their scars."
You make me dare say thus
when I look at your beautiful scars,
marks of painful memories.

I have seen the broken pieces of your delicate heart,
I have seen the shredded pieces of your beautiful soul
and had a clear glimpse of the countless
fragments of your broken spirit.
I have had a glimpse of the hollowness within your soul,
the dark void I yearn to fill,
And countless times,
my heart has wept along,
my soul has mourned and mourned.

I have seen the droplets of hot painful tears in your eyes,
I have seen intense pain sear right through you.
I have heard silent conversations,
of past painful memories you would rather not talk about.
I have seen the salty marks, left behind by the tears
that dried before I saw them.
So, I now beg of you but for one thing,
Could you please allow me to hold you in my arms?

Could you allow me,
to offer you the healing balm of comfort?
Could you please let my sympathetic lips to kiss
away the salty tears in your eyes,
making rivers on your sweet cheeks?
Could you please,
let my open arms be a source of solace?

Could you please allow me,
Could you please allow me to protect you
in the warmth of my caring embrace?
I have seen you go through hell and walk out.
Could you please allow me,
to hold your hand and walk with you now?
I know you are strong,
and have always walked alone,
I see it in your gait, I notice it in your resolve,
yet still I dare to dream and yearn,
Could you allow me,
to get beneath your skin and share your pain?

Could you please allow me,
Could you please allow me to be the fragrance
of fresh roses you never had when hell knocked
on your door and spun your heavenly world,
 three hundred and sixty degrees?
I know I have asked you to allow me
to do more than one thing at this point,
But could you please allow me,
to put it all into one thing?

Could you please allow me?
Could you please allow me to love you
like no one ever loved you before?
Could you please allow me to love you
like you never knew love?
Could you please allow me to love you?
That's the one and only thing,
I actually wanted to ask you.
Could you please allow me to love you?
I shall be at your doorstep,
waiting for you to say Yes.

#YoursSmittenThePoet
#Camistare2018
#TheMusingsOfAMadMan
#TheScreamingThoughtsOfASilentPen

Friday 24 August 2018

MAY I PLEASE!

MAY I

I am just wondering!
Your finger is so cute, it gives me thoughts,
thoughts that would make the holier than thou
faint if they got wind of.
So I am wondering,
Can I hold it please?
Can I wrap my slender fingers on it?
Maybe I am extreme and overboard now,
But I can't help myself,
Can' I at least put your beautiful finger
in my moist lips please?
I am begging, pleading, beseeching.
I am losing it.
Am wondering, if you don't mind,
Can I gently put it in my
wet, warm mouth and suck it?
Please! Please! Please!
My goodness, I am damn curious.
I am dying from this curiosity,
yearning, burning, longing.
Can I dear? May I please?

Oh! No no no no no no, that sweet curve on your face!
It's doing crazy things to my head,
Can I please trace my finger on its beautiful edges?
Just my fingers,or just a finger please:
I am dying to touch the feel.
My fingers are itching; burning with longing,
overwhelming me with a desire I cannot explain.
If you don't mind please,
can I just touch your beautiful lips?
Just a touch please!

And now my mouth is killing me too,
my tongue is longing, loaded with intense desire,
a desire to taste the sweetness locked in there,
a sweetness so intense that I am willing to dare.
What can I do? What will I do?
Can I at least save me from this death please?
I am just wondering,
wondering how they would feel on your beautiful cheeks.
Can I at least find out? Just the cheeks!
I promise I won't break the boundaries
even though I am wondering,
wondering how it would feel like if this lips
left your cheeks and strayed
to the beautiful curves on your face - your lips.

Something tells me there is heaven inside your mouth,
but I am afraid to dare so I won't ask if it is okay if I ask to find out with mine.
I just feel it in my gut though, I just have this intense feeling,
that inside the crevice of your sweet, beautifully curled lips dwells paradise.
And I mean not paradise lost but in essence paradise unexplored.
I am telling temptation no, but my tongue is curious,
damn you tongue, damn me, damn!

My tongue is persistent, it has found it's own mind,
I don't mean to be rude but my tongue is asking me to ask you,
"If you don't mind dear,
can I just pass it over the beautiful grove on your neck?"

Damn! Here goes my gapped teeth asking,
begging, pleading, please, please, please,
Can I just do a tender bite on the lobes of your ears?
There is something so beautifully nice and tempting about them.
I promise to blow soothing air from my soul
if I bite hard though I won't bite hard. You have my word.
I promise. I promise to keep my word.
Can I please?
May I please?

And now my arms, oh my 'sinful arms!"
My arms are strangling me, suffocating me, choking me,
straddling me to this executioners chair,
giving me an ultimatum, daring me, telling me I must ask,
"Beautiful one please, can I melt in your beautiful
open arms and hold you in mine?
Please! Please! Please!"

I promise to do nothing more,
but just to listen to the soft beating of your heart on mine,
it will heal this ache I feel, I don't know how but I know it will.
May I beautiful one? May I please?
And if I cannot do any of that,
may I just at least please fall in love with you
every new day as I faithfully carry this sweet ache?
Can I dear? May I please?

I swear this last bit is also true,
truer than anything else I know.
It is true you were created from my side.
That is why a part of me had been missing
- all those years until the day I met you.
I knew there and then it had to be you,
I still do know the same to be true now.
I know it because you perfectly fitted
the empty hollow spaces that existed before you came,
fitted so exactly like the perfect missing piece
of an incomplete jigsaw puzzle put in it's rightful place.

I swear, whoever looks at me now,
I mean; whoever looks at us cannot even see,
the faintest of signs that at some point in time,
something in me was broken, something was missing,
the person cannot even find the fault lines
or the connected edges, we fit each other seamlessly - we are one.
Something needed fixing, someone needed fixing,
I needed fixing, then you came along.
You were and are both the missing fixing and the fixer,
all wrapped into one with a beautiful ribbon on it.
Now all they see is a complete man.

My head needed a neck to stand on,
a neck to direct it, make it turn and move,
my head needed a neck to hold it in place,
a neck to connect it to the rest of my body,
a neck to enable by head to communicate with my whole system,
a neck to prop it well to see the dreams -
bigger dreams than the present things I had been seeing.
Yes I agree, my head needed you to complete this perfect picturesque.

I am just curious, curious if I may just taste,
taste all these or just potions maybe.
Something tells me I will be sated if I just taste,
even if I feed not my curiosity, just a taste.
A taste would be enough even when I fear
it may tempt me to ask for more.
I am just curious, oh you sweet being,
curious of the things you turn on,
curious of how you turn me on,
Can I dear? May I please?

I am just curious, would you mind a cup of tea?

#TheMusingsOfAMadMan
#TheSmittenPoet
#Camistare2018

Friday 17 August 2018

GIVE ME FREEDOM

GIVE ME FREEDOM

Take everything away from me but give me freedom,
Help me, assist me, but give me my freedom.
Educate me but give me freedom.
Give me aid but leave me my freedom,
Mock me, abuse me, revile me, hate me, loath me,
jeer me, encourage me, support me,
demean me if you want to, but leave me my freedom.
Torture my soul, break my heart, cause me pain,
persecute me if you must but set me free.
Take away everything from me if you must,
but leave me my self dignity, let me be,
let me be me, let me be free, give me freedom.
I am not requesting, I am demanding,
I am not pleading, I am stating;
I want freedom and I want it now,
My freedom to chose, my freedom to think,
My freedom to my opinion, my freedom to feel,
my freedom to  express, my freedom to speak,
my freedom to decide, my freedom to become,
my freedom to be who I am, who I was meant to be.
So take away everything from me but give me freedom.

Give me freedom I repeat!
Tie my feet in chains and heavy shackles if you must,
 but give me freedom.
Give me freedom I reapeat!
With freedom I can recover everything I lost,
With freedom I can recapture everything beseiged,
I can create every dream unseen.
With freedom I can rebuild everything destroyed,
I can take back everything plundered,
With freedom I can get back everything I lost.
Take away everything from me but leave me free.
This is my one man mass protest for freedom.
If I am not given freedom, then by force shall I take,
For at this crossroad, there is only one path to take,
that path with a bold sign, the bold sign reads "FREEDOM"
Give me freedom or give me nothing.

#themusingsofamadman
#camistare2018

FROM HELL WITH A FRESH ROSE

FROM HELL WITH A FRESH ROSE

We used to chat alot, I still remember the phone calls, the endless text messages, the Facebook pokes, likes and what have you.
I still remember how many times we went out, how many times we slept in, how many times we laughed at nothing and made vague promises to have it everlasting.
That was before it happened.

When I started to vomit in the morning and at any other time when I smelt anything aromatic or oduors or even for no particular reason at all, Onyango told me, "I don't want to see you anymore."
When I asked him, "why now?"
He replied coldly, "I don't know"
That was before I even lost my smashing figure, it was before my beautiful treetop legs started swelling like inflated hot air balloons,
it was before my flat tummy metamorphed into what they now call my contorted ugly belly.

When Onyango pulled a Judas Iscariot on me I thought to myself, maybe I will find solace elsewhere so I called my most trusted buddy -Kamau.
I tried to find solace in Kamau,
told him he was responsible for my sickness for he had been a culprit too, a sure tasting stick inside my molten honey pot but all he said to me was, "madam hiyo sahau."
I tried to tell him he might be responsible but all he said was, "madam wacha madharau"
And I stood there; startled and wondering, how did sweetheart, baby, honey pie and all those beautiful sweet nothing names he used to call me change into madam?
I am yet to know how.
And so I must deal with this alone,

I thought Onyango and Kamau had heart me but I can't help but remember Wafula now.
In fact, Wafula told me categorically to deal with my own shit in vernecular.
I will not tell you how vulgar and dirty it felt,
It was dirtier than my bushy V with pees, a fungul and a warts infection combined.

I reached out to my last resort, Musa my sweetest sweetheart, my gentle giant but he clawed at me like an agitated hungry tiger.
I am still nursing the open wounds he  left me while mourning the innocence of my defiled honey  pot.
Musa! Oh Musa!Musa offered me not his shoulder, instead, he added more insult to Wafula's injuries by calling me unprintable fluent coastal Swahili words that made me pity my own mother who has no idea what-so-ever what this whole business is about.
I still feel ashamed for my mother whenever I remember Musa.
The parts of both her and my anatomy that he called out are too gross to be mentioned.

Holy cow! How did I end up here? How did painful sweetness turn into this endless pain and strain that I now have to bear alone?
Here I am, all alone looking at the deadline fast approaching.
When I finally cross the finish line, when I stand on that podium to display my gold medal,
will it be Onyango's, Kamau's, Wafula's or Musa's face ingrained on the gold coin bedecking my slender beautiful neck on that podium?
I wish I knew.

The answers to that I know not and even if I did know now, the pain within is so intense that it leaves no space for any more thoughts of faces on gold coins when I finally stand on that podium as number one in this marathon I have had to run alone.
It is only hope and the unmatched strength of a woman that has made me keep on and oh, the promise of displaying my hard won gold medal on that podium.
I will stand tall on that podium and hold my medal.

I will do it even without them, they who messed up my innocence and stole wantonly from my precious honey pot.
Onyango, Kamau, Wafula, Musa and them all can go to hell for all I care.
I am a fighter, I have fought through sickness, I have fought through cravings, I have fought through back pains, I have fought through swellings, I have fought through infections, I have fought painful labour and complications, I have fought bad-mouthers, I have fought insults and myopic judgements to arrive here and now I chose not to share my moment of glory with anyone but my medal.

#themusingsofamadman
#camistare2018